"Throughout my prenatal visits, I felt threatened, harassed, and disrespected by Aspirus staff. I felt unsafe continuing care with my provider when he told me he would "use defensive medicine against [me]” meaning provide medical intervention regardless of consent in nonemergent situations. I continued alternative prenatal care outside of aspirus system.
I arranged to birth at another hospital but as my labor progressed very quickly, we didn't feel comfortable driving anywhere and ended up at AGV. We called ahead of time to relay my birth plan and establish baseline of what I do/do not consent to. (No monitors, exams, etc. In the case that we do go to AGV we want no medical intervention outside of true emergency and when we are all stable and ready immediately after birth, plan to return home.)
I was brought through back of the ER, met by RN (RP) who verbalized her disappointment of not getting an ER birth.
I arrived at L&D unit and was pressured by staff nurses to get off gurney immediately despite being mid contraction. EMT advocated for me saying give me 30 more seconds and I'll be good to move. Which was true. I told nurses to keep the IV fluids to bare minimum, so RN (RP) removed the IV tubing. I moved to the floor, where I was comfortable laboring in my clothes bedside and did not feel the need or want for them to be removed, as the RN (KB) pressured me persistently to put a hospital gown on despite me telling them I wanted to stay in my own clothes. The nurses kept telling me to get on the bed which I did when I felt comfortable doing so, asking for help removing my pants between contractions. I left disposable underwear on at that time, as I was having another strong contraction. The nurse (KB), in a panicked tone kept telling me to take them off, and between contractions I told her to rip the sides and remove them. She hesitated to do so, repeatedly asking what i meant. I positioned myself how I felt comfortable to labor, while the staff kept pressuring me to move in a position more convenient for them. I felt my baby being born with my hand over my perineum, with intent to have the staff on standby, but entirely hands off as I stated in the phone call to the OB nurse (KB) prior to arrival. I did NOT give verbal consent, or written consent (was not even offered consent form or asked if I give verbal consent to care) at any point between the phone call and my discharge from the hospital. I verbalized my birth to the staff as I was experiencing it, and as soon as I moved my hand from my perineum to simply reposition, the nurse took over my birth space, with no consent or medical need to do so, and preventing me in continuing feeling my birth. I kept reaching down to feel my baby's head, but she did not move her hands out of my way. At this point she immediately started ordering me to push, which I did in my own time, and did push one time involuntarily against my instinct to find it felt very wrong. I asked if there was a nuchal cord, she said "no there's no cord", so I let my fetal ejection reflex take over, at which point the nurse (KB) was already cutting my baby's cord, and therefore denying my baby his cord blood and oxygen, which tends to make respiratory recovery more difficult for the infant. (Not enough time passed for him to even try taking a breath on his own before she cut the cord]
As they gave supplemental oxygen to my baby, my placenta detached. Shortly after, the doctor arrived, checked on my baby then came behind me and asked "how do you want to do this?" I said "I'm fine" (which I intended to mean I don't want or need help, but was not quite able to get those words out yet). He then used forceps (with NO consent) on or in my vagina to visual my placenta, which he then pulled out of me with one hand while he reached under my to press on my abdomen with the other.
I saw my baby was no longer receiving supplemental oxygen but the staff did not give him to me for another 13 minutes, time which they instead used for an unconsented, non emergency x-ray and routine measurements, as the doctor ordered they do before letting me hold him.
When I finally got to hold my son, nearly half an hour after birth, RN (KB) immediately began a fundal massage, which was not medically necessary, and scrubbing me with wipes to clean me up instead of letting me have my bonding time."